Update!

Three exciting things!

I changed the web address from heartleafxartistry.wordpress.com to the new heartleafinsight.wordpress.com  I hate to be childish, but I could see the word “fart” in the original and it bothered me. So be sure if you have me saved on your bookmarks before to re-save me! Save my link if you haven’t!

Also, I have made a facebook page. Please feel free to join it! https://www.facebook.com/heartleafinsight/ It’ll go hand in hand with the things I write in my blog.

Lastly, I decided to make an official email. heartleafinsight@gmail.com so if you have any desire to contact me, please feel free to do so!

Thank you for following my page!

Please share and subscribe!

-Broodmother

 

Preparing

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Perhaps it’s the Virgo Moon in me that’s becoming more dominant in my personality or just the fact that I’m spiritually transitioning into adulthood, but organization has became a strong desire over the last year. If you enjoy Pinterest like me, you’ve probably stumbled upon the Bullet Journal (or bujo for short). If you haven’t, it’s simply a DIY planner that you can make with a grid or plain journal. It can be minimalistic or you can do like most people and add pictures, doodles, quotes, decorations, etc.  I really liked the idea of it when I was starting school last fall and I gave it a shot. It worked for me to a certain degree, but I didn’t use it to its fullest potential. I think because of the internal turmoil I was going through, I just didn’t give this last school year or the journal much effort.

However, since my last blog, I’ve been thinking more on my life purpose and what I want. I’ve mentioned in my last couple of entries that I didn’t know what I wanted in life, more specifically when it comes to career. But since my last post, I’ve thought about the satisfaction I had in doing those tarot readings for my friends last weekend. With that, I’ve concluded that I am supposed to focus on my spirituality. I believe that my spiritual journey IS my life purpose. When I get to the point that I’m practiced and knowledgeable, I want to give to the others. Travel to people’s homes and provide spiritual services for them. I believe it to be my life’s work. My hopes are when my boyfriend gets a job offer after his internship, we will be closer to a place where I have access to a reiki teacher so I can learn to be a reiki practitioner.

Since school ended, it has been my goal to get a daily routine going for me so I can focus on studying metaphysical subjects and just be an overall productive person. Presently, my goal has been to study tarot. I didn’t want to give up the bullet journal just because school is over, but I don’t really have many mundane responsibilities. I’m child free and I work part time, so I have a pretty clear schedule for the most part. As far as I’m concerned, now that I do know what I want with my life, my spiritual studies are my part time job. Over the week, I’ve been setting up my journal again and have been researching how other people use it.  It occurred to me today that instead of this just being a chore/routine organizer this could be a spiritually oriented bullet journal.

The picture I decided to post for this blog is a personal picture of all of the notebooks I use to write in for my various spiritual things. That’s FIVE notebooks. The one on top towards the left is Llewellyn’s Witches’ Datebook 2017. I love all of the daily information it has, but it doesn’t really have enough space for me to write in. The little black book under it is my tarot book. I write cheats in it, such as different spreads and little tid bit information for readings. It was really useful in my reading for my friends last week, because it allowed them to look at the different spreads and think about their question.

The fairy journal on the right is my spiritual diary. I write about dreams and interactions I have with Hades and other spirits. It is more significant to me, so I only write about specific things in it. It’s my “what I know” book. Under it is a composition notebook is my work book that I log all of my tarot readings in to. On top of that, it’s my idea book. I write my different ideas for rituals, different personal revelations. It’s my “theory” book and things I actively work on. The two books on the left are Llewellyn’s Sabbats 2017 and Witches’ Companion 2017. I like to read those for inspiration and get new ideas, the sabbats is particularly helpful for when I am writing rituals. Then behind all of that, is my beta-bujo. I decided to go ahead and order a dot grid notebook to be my official bujo, because I just didn’t like the graph paper notebook. I’ll use my beta book for creating templates and whatever else I need.

I think having a spiritual bullet journal that gets me organized will really help me in the long run. With us moving in the not-so-distant future, I’m going to be a solitary witch again and I really want to be active in witchcraft. I want to participate and write for sabbats, even if they are solitary. I also really want to be conscious of the moon and do moon work every month, full and new. I also want to be conscious of the stuff going on astrologically. Every three days the moon moves to a different sign in the astrological wheel. Along with the cycles of the astrological wheel. I really want to be spiritual attuned to the cycles of the world and I think that my idea for a spiritual bullet journal is exactly what I need. If this is my life’s work, then I should treat it as such and organize around it, like one would with a work schedule.

I’m really excited about this idea. Once my book comes in, I will gladly share with you what I’ve got. I hope that it helps you guys out with your craft too! Also, just something to keep in mind. It’s never too late to get organized. Don’t hesitate to create your own calendar, just because it’s May and not January. You can’t put your life on hold, because it’s not at a conventional time. Be present in your own life. You can do it. I know this, because I’ve done it. 🙂

Energy

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So I’ve been a little conflicted about writing this, because it’s a little out there. It’s easy to get turned off by the name of it or have different associations to the words. BUT! This is a personal blog and I’m writing about my experiences.

I have always been sensitive to energy. It’s not something that I was conscious about when I was younger. It really wasn’t until my spiritual reawakening that I really understood it. For a while, I thought I was maybe an empath. It wasn’t until my circle had a class on energy two years ago, that I had described some of my experiences with it. One of the things I had said was that sometimes when I am working, I worked as a cashier at Walmart at the time, there would be a person who had a lot of energy and it made me feel drunk. My Den Mother gave me this look and told me later that I could be an energy vampire, because she is one as well.

Psy-vamps, or psychic vampires, is another name, but it isn’t named that because they’re “psychic”. Basically psy-vamps are people who have a defect, so to speak, that causes them to not keep energy or produce enough of it. It could be something wrong with one of their chakras or something going on with their body that causes them to not produce energy. It’s not malicious, it’s a natural occurring thing and they have to feed off of energy in order to restore themselves, like a diabetic not being able to produce insulin so to speak.  They may feel really tired all of a sudden and then once they find an external source of energy, they feel great. There’s many ways to feed though. It’s not like psy-vamps have to drink people’s blood or anything like that. I’ll add a link if you’d like to read some more details on it.

When my Den Mother told me I may be a psy-vamp, I definitely kept that in mind and did some research on it, but nothing really clicked with me at the time. Again, it was two years ago and we’ve talked about it on and off throughout the years. I asked how she fed and for some advice.. When I tried to do those things, I didn’t really “feel” it. I reserved the opinion that maybe I wasn’t a psy-vamp, because I just figured if I was feeding off of something, I’d know it. But last month, something happened to make me think otherwise.

My boyfriend was on a 6 day training session eight hours away last month. During that week of him being gone, I was sick damn near every other day and my health plummeted at the end of the week. The first night he was gone I had a terrible migraine, the day after that I had another. The little allergies I had turned into a full blow flu. I had horrible diarrhea. On top of that, each day that he was gone, my back was in more pain each day and at the end of it, I felt like a 90 year old. I thought about going to the hospital the night before he came home, because I felt sooooo sick. Once he got home, my health went back to normal! I’m not talking like a few days after, I’m talking about literally as soon as we were physically present with each other, all of the terrible sickness I had was gone, beyond the stuffiness from my cold/flu.

It opened my mind again to the idea that maybe I really am an energy vampire. I had messaged my Den Mother about it the next day. She said that her husband was her primary feeding source and that it made sense that my health had a major decline from the long distance. Mind you, my bf and I have lived together for three years so consciously or not, if I was an energy vampire, he has been my primary source for three years. After this realization, I had looked up my research again and found a great site that talked about the symptoms of being an energy vampire and it ALL rung a bell.

I am a psy vamp. I’m not an empath necessarily, it’s just a product of being conscious of energy, because I need an external energy source to sustain me. With that being said, as I said in my last blog, I watch a distance reiki channel on YouTube and she casts out energy and I feed off of it. Since I have became conscious of it, I’ve felt really in balance and in control. I work with the public and I hate it, especially because I work around a lot of really negative women and their energy really drains me. Since I’ve been watching those videos and have been able to sustain my energy needs, I’ve been able to erect shields and block the negative energy around me instead of feeding on it. It made me really in tune with my crystals and I have some specifically for work to protect me from lower vibrations.

I had a really fascinating conversation with a new friend last night. I was talking about how I cycle through groups of friends like I do with toothbrushes. She threw out the idea that it’s probably just because I do feed off of those people  and after so long I just can’t take their energy anymore. Because I am so receptive to energy, I stay around these people for an extended period and then there’s just a build up of the excess crap that they send off and it turns me away. It makes so much sense and I never really thought about it that way. It really makes me reflect on my relationships and the manner in which they’ve ended on. It will certainly be interesting to see how my relationships will be, now that I am actively conscious of my energy needs and being about to take care of them without having to accidentally feed off of them.

My friend said that maybe this is my purpose, my psychic vampirism. Because I am conscious of the energy and I do have a psychic awareness, it’s my purpose to go through different groups of people to learn lessons, but to also teach them. I did a tarot reading for her and her boyfriend who is a very dear friend and my readings were really amazing. My mind gets blown each time I do a reading. Perhaps it is my purpose to go around and share my spirituality to try to help others find their own spiritual journey? I’d love to learn to be a reiki practitioner and perhaps my energy awareness could even be used to heal people, beyond the physical. I feel that I am finally on to finding my true purpose in life and it makes sense that I don’t really know what I want to do in terms of a conventional career. Maybe this blog is the first step in to making this a lifestyle. Being able to meet new people and help them along the way.

I know that this is a concept and it may be too outward thinking for some, but this is my truth. This is my reality. I am an outward thinker. I’ve always felt like I have had one foot in this world and my other foot in another. I am an energy vampire. I’m no Dracula or anything like that. I’m not even bragging about it. I didn’t even really believe that I was until recently. I hope that this has helped you maybe think about your own interactions with energy. Whether you’re conscious of it or not, we all have chakras and energy and it does interact with our life, because it’s a natural part of us. I really recommend reading about it or even just watching YouTube channels. It’s really informative and helps you open your mind to new concepts and allows you to pick up on higher vibrations.

Link to Lune Innate, master reiki practitioner on YouTube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPCHuLiHbhG3s_YxhMLOn6Q

Link to information on psy vampirism, what it’s about, symptoms and learning how to control it:  http://sphynxcatvp.nocturna.org/articles/dyscracia-psivamps.html

 

Practice

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After two years of hard work, school is finally over. Thank the Gods! This last year of school, I really wasn’t feeling it after realizing I didn’t want to continue my education. To say the least, senioritis was very real. Something I’ve noticed now that school is over is that I don’t have any more back pain and that I actually am ready to go to bed. On top of that, I sleep great! It’s interesting what stress does to you. Funny thing is, I really wasn’t all that stressed. I think it was just the mental commitment and feeling guilty when I was doing something that wasn’t school related. There was always a voice in the back of my head lecturing me that I should be a better student. I graduated Magna cum Laude though.

Now that school is over, I actually have guilt-free time and I can start focusing on the things I’ve wanted to work on for the last year. I’ve been wanting to get back into my art and have been stocking up these last couple of months. I’ve been working on watercolor painting a little bit and when the urge hits, I have supplies to wire wrap crystals. But considering what this blog is about, I can finally start to work on my magical practices. Tarot has been really standing out in my mind, so I have been focusing on understanding my tarot deck. I’d really like to be a practiced reader. I bought a new tarot deck in January that I haven’t really gotten to work with, The Raven’s Prophecy. The art reminds me of the way I visualize things in my mind. On top of that, it doesn’t deal with reversals, which I think is best for starters. I finished reading the book provided with the deck and have a tiny notebook that I’ve been filling with spreads and little cheats for the cards.

The first deck I bought for myself was Revelations Tarot by Zach Wong. Each end of the card has a picture representing the story upright and reversed. It’s a really nice deck, but it was a little too intense for me to start off with. I’m a go big or go home kind of person. It’s something I’ve realized is impractical and I’ll never be able to really learn if I’m worrying about being a master immediately. It’s exciting to relearn tarot the right way.

I did a 8 card spread for myself during the new moon last month and unlocking information about myself. Normally when I do tarot, I typically get all Major Arcana with one or two court cards. But because I am in a transitional period, now that school is over and we won’t be moving until Fall at the earliest, my reading was all minor arcana. The reading was really in depth and required a lot of digging. Ironically too, because a good majority of the cards were coins (pentacles). I think I spent about 4 to 5 hours total on the reading. In the end, it created a story about myself that flowed and I felt like I learned quite a bit about the cards and myself.

I think tarot is a really great starter to practicing, because it’s kind of a gateway in to learning about numerology and astrology. Beyond tarot, I’ve been watching a youtuber, named Lune Innate. She’s a master reiki practioner. She does distance reiki sessions on her channel and it’s really helped me be more conscious about my energy. I’ve been able to erect energy shields more easily, just because of my awareness. It’s something I strongly recommend if you work in the public. My boss is really chaotic and radiates chaos and stress. I used my crystal to help erect a shield against her and let me tell you, it worked. I didn’t feel her energy affect me at all yesterday, which was very appreciated since we worked closely together.

Anyway, I just wanted to give an update on what I’m up to. I’m in a really happy place at the moment. It feels like I’m in the lovely transition of closing one chapter and starting another. To be honest, it’s the first time I’ve felt truly happy and peaceful. I’m not taking it for granted. I’ve decided that I’m only going to promise two blog posts a month for now. I’m sure that I’ll have the urge to write more now that school is over, but like I said, I’m just learning new ideas and focusing on practice.

Link to Lune Innate, a reiki youtuber:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPCHuLiHbhG3s_YxhMLOn6:Q

Image source: link