Releasing

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Litha was Tuesday and it went well. Taking stock of the past and releasing what no longer serves was a good theme to go with. Tonight is the New Moon and as I said before, it has been my intention to cut the cord between my mother and I. I also decided to cut the cord between my brother and I and also to release old ties from the past and the projections that they carry with them.

It did not occur to me, until after Litha and the New Moon, that the theme has been more on shedding the old skin and embracing a new identity. Now that school is over, we will be moving quite some distance away, I can close the doors of old relationships that no longer serve me. I am not one to be overly sentimental. Old friends from work or school or whatever past scenario, once that scenario is over, I realize that we will no longer to continue to be in communication. It doesn’t bother me, but feeling socially obligated to be under false pretenses does.

I have debated for some time about starting a new Facebook and creating a new public identity for my spiritual social medium. I would like to eventually do YouTube videos and become a more public figure in the social community, but I really don’t want it to be tied to my born name. It wasn’t but two days before Litha, a catalyst drove me to make a new facebook account with the new name I’ve been thinking on. Then Litha came and my coven did welcoming ceremony to acknowledge the birth of my Shadow name. I wasn’t planning on doing a ceremony until at the spur of a moment, it felt right to do so.

As I was doing my cord cutting ritual tonight, I continued to repeat, “I release the ties and projections of the past and embrace my new identity.” Litha and the present energy, for me, has been on transformation and releasing what no longer serves. It is with the fires of Litha and the Full Moon to come, that my true identity can be illuminated. I feel relieved to let go of the guilt and heavy feelings that go along with endings. It feels good to be ready to step forward and to know that along with Litha, this is the midpoint of my life. Now I can move forward into the next half of my life letting go of the past.

It is with this post that I acknowledge my spiritual name, Lunara Heartleaf. I hope that you have enjoyed reading all that I have shared, because I have no doubts that I have much more in store for you all and for myself.

Blessed be.

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Summer Solstice

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Ostara up until Litha (Summer Solstice) I have felt a very high, upbeat energy. Originally when I was planning out ritual for Litha, I was feeling the active, Spring energy. I was thinking about making it very nostalgic. I wanted to do a water balloon fight blessed with moon water and it would be very fun. I was thinking about the group bringing their favorite childhood dish and making a playlist with songs from everyone’s childhood. However, pretty much all of the ideas I had for it got shut down and it made me grumpy so I just decided to scrap it.

I can sense the shift in the Wheel and that the darker days are coming. It is when my connection to the Underworld and Hades is at its highest point, particularly in Winter. It is a time of solemnity and introspection. It’s when I am at my most transformative. Of late, my dreams have been bringing me back to childhood issues and my family house. I don’t believe that I have mentioned it, but I had a fallout with my mother almost three years ago. We haven’t spoken in two years other than brief emails over financial things. I tried a couple of times to make amends in my own way and she shut them down.

I won’t go deep into it other than, she basically wanted to make me her therapist and it wasn’t something I could deal with. No child should be their parent’s therapist. Almost everything she said in that time frame really sunk under my skin and haunted me. Often she would tell (scream at) me how awful and selfish of a daughter I am. It really fucked me up. These last couple of years, I thought time would heal, make it better. I’d forget about it for a time, but then everything would resurface making me just as angry and hurt over the whole thing.

With my bf and I moving, quite likely, a distance away, I contemplated for a couple of months whether or not I should make amends, try to fix things. I guess it was because I subconsciously wanted to prove her wrong, that I wasn’t an awful daughter. As much as I thought about it, it just didn’t seem probable that I would have came out of the situation happy. I did a tarot reading on it last week and it pretty much confirmed that I need to move on and cut the cords. That I can’t heal and recover, because I’m just sitting here stewing over an unfixable relationship.

It is my intention on the New Moon (the 23rd)  to do a cord cutting ceremony, to break the bonds between us, for my own mental health. As I was thinking about Summer Solstice, I thought about it being a fire festival and fire is a great way to purge any issues. Litha is about taking stock of the year and moving forward with it. So it’s my thought to make Litha a purging ritual for my group. I let them know ahead of time to start thinking of any resurfacing issues, things they want to purge. I plan to bring cord for them to project that negative energy on. They’ll then place the intention of releasing that energy that no longer serves them and then burn it. With the Solstice being a Light celebration, I view it as illuminating the dark corners of your mind and dusting out the old cobwebs so to speak. .

It’s not the Summer-Blast-Off, nostalgia that I originally wanted, but it’s powerful. I am a cyclical learner. Things resurface over and over again, I learn and release something new from it every time. I hope that maybe this will aid you in your Summer Solstice in some way.

Blessed Be

Getting creative

From my post before last, I got the idea to do a bullet journal, but for my witch stuff. I got my book two Saturdays ago and what I’ve done, I’m pretty excited about. I figured I would share it with you. If you follow my facebook page, you’ve seen some of these pictures before, but that’s okay.

Originally, I was thinking about doing a magic scrapbook or smashbook, but at the moment I don’t have a functioning printer so it would be really inconvenient and have to be pre-planned. I felt like that took away from the essence of what I wanted to do. I have a handful of pinterest boards that have information of chakras, crystals, mythology, etc and I wanted to essentially take what I’ve added from there and transfer it into a physical copy. Personally, I try to stay away from technology when I am doing magical stuff, which is when I’d need to look up my pinterest board or whatever.

So here’s what I’ve got so far:

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It’s not perfect, but who cares? It’s mine and I’m really excited with the way it looks. I probably would’ve had more pages done, but I’ve been working a lot. On top of that, we had new unexpected addition to our family. We wound up taking home a new kitten on Memorial Day, so my time has been involved in swooning over my new baby. My other two cats have embraced him into the household so it’s been fun. Don’t worry, I’m not going to spam my page with cat pictures, but I can’t resist sharing one.

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I have a feeling he is going to be a magical familiar. His name is Belfry, because he looks like a bat.

I will be sure to add another post soon. Litha is coming up here in two weeks exactly and I will be writing and performing ritual for it. My plan is to share a bit on it, once I get it all together in my mind. On top of that, after Litha, the days will be getting shorter, connecting me closer to Hades and the Underworld. I’ve felt a distance since Ostara, but that makes sense with Persephone leaving the Underworld. He has been creeping into the back of my mind again and it’s exciting to say the least. I have missed it.

Be sure to follow my facebook page if you haven’t!

Blessed be